


Heal Me

by romanticalgirl



Series: Sexual Healing [6]
Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-14
Packaged: 2018-01-12 07:16:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1183424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted 11/19/00</p>
    </blockquote>





	Heal Me

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 11/19/00

Joey looked up as Pacey sat next to her. “Hey.”

He smiled and slipped a piece of paper on top of her book. “Hey yourself.”

“What’s this?” She picked up the paper and skimmed it, a bright smile lighting up her face.

“What do you think it is, Potter?” Pacey slid his arm along the back of her chair, moving closer to her. “Do you think it’s a notice that yours truly is a completely, full-fledged senior?”

“I’m thinking that’s what it says, but that can’t be the case.”

“And why is that?”

“Because Pacey Witter was always fond of reminding me that he’s stupid and incapable of achieving something like this.”

“Well,” Pacey grinned. “I have it on pretty good authority that Pacey Witter’s reputation is greatly exaggerated.”

Joey leaned closer to him, her eyes shining. “All of his reputation?”

“Well, there are a few things that are true.”

“Such as?”

“It’s been said that I’m quite the comedian.”

“Anything else?”

“Everything else is classified.” He ruffled her hair before smoothing it down, staring at his fingers as they stroked the silky strands. “So,” clearing his throat, Pacey pulled his hand away, “you wanna help me celebrate, Potter?”

Joey’s voice dropped, the slightly husky sound matching the darkening of her eyes. “What did you have in mind?”

Pacey cocked an eyebrow and tilted his head, “I was thinking dinner? My treat?”

Clearing her throat, Joey responded in her normal voice, embarrassed by Pacey’s response. “Dinner? Where?”

“Someplace we’ve never been. Maybe some seedy dive on the outskirts of town? Or,” Pacey leaned into her again, brushing her hair out of the way so that he could whisper in her ear, “Maybe someplace the hell out of Capeside?”

Joey shivered as his warm breath made its way along her spine. “I don’t know that Bessie would let me run off with you again.”

“It won’t be for three months this time,” he admitted, pulling back. “I’ll have you home by midnight.”

“A lot can happen before midnight,” she looked at him, biting her bottom lip to repress a smile. “Don’t you think?”

“More than you can imagine, Potter.” Pacey pushed his chair back. “I’ll pick you up at six?”

“Sure.” As he started to walk way, Joey called him back. He turned and she took a deep breath. “We’re…we’re just friends, right?”

He managed a smile and a nod. “Yeah.”

“Thanks.”

 

~**~  
Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

Friends. She wants to be friends? Is that what she wants? Or does she just think that that’s what I want because of the whole sort-of-coitus interruptus we’ll attribute to Jen’s untimely phone call? Admittedly, I didn’t rush right over to her house that night and rectify the situation. Admittedly, I was a little angry. Not at Joey, I know that she wasn’t thinking about Dawson. At least not until she started thinking I was thinking she was thinking about Dawson.

How did this get so complicated?

I should have known better. I should have followed her home and assured her that Dawson wasn’t the problem anymore, but I’m getting tired of having the same discussion, the same argument. I didn’t want to go to her and have Dawson be the source of our conversation and our reconciliation. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking to believe that we can get by on the Dawson-free moments of our lives, especially when there are so many that are Dawson-filled.

But for the three months that we weren’t dating, it all worked out. We were everything but a couple. We were the kind of friends to each other that we needed to be. How does he manage to screw it all up in so short a time?

Why do I let him screw it up?

That’s the problem, and I know it. Dawson doesn’t do any of this. He hasn’t done any of this. Admittedly, he pisses us off and angers us and says the wrong thing and hurts us by his offhand comments, but Joey and I let him do this to us. We give him that power.

So you know what? Friendship be damned. My elaborate dinner plans called for wining, dining, dancing and some slow, sweet, tender lovemaking. I think I’ll just be leaving the itinerary exactly as it is.

If she isn’t in love with me, she’ll stop me; she’ll say she just wants to be friends. And if she is in love with me, well…

We won’t stop.

~**~  
“Okay, you have to help me.” Joey pushed past Jen into her living room before beginning to pace. “I have a dilemma.”

“Obviously. And, by the way, come on in.”

“Thanks.” Joey faced Jen and grabbed her hands. “I’m going out to dinner with Pacey tonight.”

“Turn off the answering machine this time.” Jen replied with a smirk.

Joey glared at her. “Yes, remind me to thank you for that abrupt end to my sexual awakening. Can we go upstairs?”

“What? You’re afraid Grams might be unnerved by your lurid recent past?”

“Jen!”

Jen laughed and nodded. “Let’s go.”

Joey waited until Jen had shut her bedroom door before sitting on the edge of the bed, wringing her hands in her lap. “So, Pacey asked me out to dinner.”

“A date?” Jen sat at her desk, across from Joey. “That sounds promising. I mean, if he wants to date you, you kind of have to assume that he’s not holding my ill-timed communication against you.”

“He wants to celebrate passing his junior year.”

“Six months later than the rest of us.” Jen nodded. “Good for him.”

“And I told him I’d go.”

Jen barely suppressed her sly grin. “He’d probably like it better if you came.”

“Would you be serious!” Joey jumped up and started pacing again. “He’s driving me crazy. I can’t figure out where he’s coming from. I mean, he derails our relationship because of the supposed Dawson issue. I get that. I screwed up and he did what he thought was best. Then, he spends three months just *being there* for me. And we get to be really good friends and all the romance starts up again and…and then it gets all messed up. Again. Because of Dawson.”

“Joey, do you ever think that maybe you’re using Dawson to keep Pacey at bay? Not,” she held up her hand to stop Joey’s protest. “Not because you don’t love Pacey, but because you’re scared? I mean, that’s how I interpreted the whole fiasco after it became apparent that it had absolutely nothing to do with Dawson.”

“What does that have to do with this?”

“Well, maybe you came on a lot stronger than Pacey expected, so my phone call gave him the out that he needed. You caught him off-guard and he didn’t know how to react. Because, let’s be honest here, Joey Potter has never been known for her sexual aggression. Well, other than when you…oh, came on to Dawson to save him from Eve’s clutches.”

“Shit.” Joey sank back down onto the bed. “So I have to be this wilting violet and let Pacey do all the work?”

“You make that sound like it’s a bad thing.” Jen laughed. “Don’t try so hard, how about that? Make it mutual. That’s what it’s supposed to be.”

“I asked him if we were just friends.” Joey sighed. “Actually, I kind of forced him to say we were just friends. Which means I’ve screwed it up again.” Her eyes searched Jen’s for an answer, imploring her to give her the one she wanted. “Haven’t I?”

“Maybe when it comes to you and Pacey and sex...maybe you should just keep your mouth shut.” Jen’s smile widened. “Of course, he might not like that.”

“Would you please quit enjoying the angst I’m going through with this? And quit talking about my…”

“Your what, Jo? Your friend? Your boyfriend?”

Joey squirmed uncomfortably on the bed. “Quit talking about sex and Pacey in the same sentence.”

“Right. Which should be easy as we’re having a discussion about you having sex with Pacey.”

“Quit talking about Pacey and sex and enjoying it,” Joey huffed.

“You’re supposed to enjoy it too, Jo.” Jen couldn’t help but laugh. “Look, go to dinner with Pacey. Don’t go in there with some sort of elaborate plan. Let things happen. I’m pretty sure Pacey is still as hung up on you as you are on him. So I really don’t think there’s going to be any problem when it comes down to the logistics of things.”

“What he if thinks I really want to just be friends?”

“Then make the first move.”

“What if it turns him off?”

Jen shook her head at Joey’s suggestion. “Have you ever touched Pacey and gotten the impression it didn’t turn him on to some small degree?” When Joey didn’t reply, she continued. “Run your hand over his crotch. If he likes it, you’ll know.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Joey.” Jen stood up and headed for the bedroom door. “You went down on him.”

“I can’t believe I told you that.”

“I don’t think touching him is going to be a problem.”

~**~  
Okay, so I told Jen. And I can’t believe I did. But when I ran into her the day after, I had to talk to someone. She was going on and on about the director and what a jerk he’d been at the filming before admitting that he’d asked her out and she’d said yes, and I couldn’t take it anymore. So I just blurted it out. I went down on Pacey.

Silence reigned.

Then, in the shocked quiet, I told her that it didn’t matter, since it was quite obviously the last time I was ever going to have the chance to do something remotely sexual as far as Pacey was concerned. And I really thought it was. Until today, he hadn’t spoken to me since that night, which was almost a week ago. Of course, his passing certificate is explanation enough, but it doesn’t change the fact that for the past week, I’ve been torturing myself with the thought of him hating me. Or worse yet, not loving me. Or maybe even worse than that, not caring.

Having Pacey feel nothing toward me would be the worst of all.

Was that why I wanted him to admit that we were friends? So that I knew that, no matter what might happen as far as sex was concerned, that he still had feelings for me? Or am I still just scared of the power he has over me?

The entire week, I’ve been in my room fantasizing about him. I drift off in classes thinking about the way he felt, the way he tasted. And hating myself for the fact that I might never get to experience that again. But now that the opportunity has possibly presented itself, all I can think of is how I’m supposed to handle it.

In my fantasies, I’m suave and take-charge. I can tell him what I want, I know somehow what he wants and it’s this moment of pure bliss that lasts until I open my eyes. In reality, I’m afraid I’ll be fumbling like…well, me. And he’ll be the practiced professional, eliciting the exact responses with his skilled hands.

Friends. Right. That ain’t gonna happen.

~**~  
Pacey killed the engine and stared at Joey’s house, fingering his tie nervously before opening the door. Out of the car, he shrugged on his suit jacket and started toward the house.

Joey let the curtain fall from her hand. In the months since prom, she’d forgotten how devastatingly sexy Pacey looked in a suit. She ran nervous hands along the length of her red dress, smoothing the silk.

“Nervous?”

Joey started and whirled around. Bodie was standing at the kitchen doorway, arms crossed over his chest. “I thought you worked tonight.”

“I do.”

“Then why are you still here?”

“Bessie made me promise to threaten Pacey’s life if he defiled her little sister.” At Joey’s horrified expression, he couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m kidding.”

“But you’re still here.”

“True.” Bodie nodded and headed for the door as Pacey knocked.

“Don’t answer that!”

“I think he might get the wrong idea if you don’t let him in, Joey.”

She bit her lower lip and glanced at the door. “I hate you.”

“Be nice or I won’t let you leave the house till you’re thirty.” Bodie opened the door and smiled at Pacey. “Well, well. Don’t you clean up nice.”

“Bessie tell you to say that?”

“Only because she couldn’t be here to do it herself.” Bodie shook his hand as Pacey walked into the room. “I compromised at that so you wouldn’t have to listen to the safe sex speech.”

“Bodie!” Joey stepped forward and slapped him on the upper arm, completely mortified.

Bodie started to respond, stopping when he saw Pacey staring at Joey, completely enraptured. Without another word, he left the two of them alone in the room.

In the bright light, Joey’s dress shimmered, the fabric curving around her body indecently. “You put the English language to shame.”

“And how do I manage to do that, exactly?”

“By being too beautiful for words.” He stepped forward and ran his finger over the thin spaghetti strap. “You look…incredible, Potter.”

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” She smiled as Pacey reached up to tug at his tie, placing her hand over his to stop his fidgeting. “So where are we going?”

“Right.” Pacey nodded, unable to look away from her. “A little place Doug told me about.”

“And that doesn’t worry you?”

“Well, we are running the risk of eating chicken strips at a bar where the clientele is far more interested in what I’m wearing.” Pacey grabbed Joey’s jacket and held it out for her, lifting her hair as she adjusted the collar. “Not that I’d mind the lack of competition.”

“What makes you so sure there’ll be a lack of competition?” Joey waited for him to close the door behind them, then fell into step with Pacey. “Need I remind you that Jack fell for me.”

“Yeah, well, there’s no accounting for taste.”

Joey raised and eyebrow as she reached over and grabbed the bottom of Pacey’s tie. “And need I remind you, Mr. Witter, that *you* fell for me?”

“You’re talkin’ crazy talk, Josephine.” Pacey disentangled her hand, capturing it in his own. Unlocking her door, he held it open for her. “Your chariot, my lady.”

Joey slid in as Pacey closed the door behind her. He opened his and shrugged out of his jacket before climbing in beside her. Her eyes traveled over his physique, shown off in his form-fitting white dress shirt. “Do we have reservations?”

“Relax, Potter. I’ve got it all under control.”

“Is that supposed to reassure me?”

He chuckled and started the car, pulling away from the B&B.

~**~  
She looks like something out of a movie, some fantasy sequence of the impossible woman. And yet she’s here with me. Maybe there’s nothing to worry about. Maybe all my fears are completely groundless.

Of course, we seem to have fallen back into our banter, which could be seen as a segue right back into friendship. Although when we were friends, the banter never had this level of sexual tension to it. Unless I’m the only one feeling the tension.

Jesus, does every thought I have start with some sort of qualifier? Maybe. Although. Unless. But. And. Joey Potter has me so confused; it’s a wonder I haven’t crashed the car into a tree. Not confused about where I stand. Confused about where she stands. I’m just going to have to do what I decided to do this afternoon and take my chances. The worst she can do is say no, right?

Of course, she could also say yes.

I’m frozen here, unsure of what I want her to say. If she says no, it all goes back and I suffer in silence, just like before the summer. If she says yes…what does that mean for us? We go from dating to broken up to tentatively dating to making love. Sounds like a typical Capeside relationship, doesn’t it? Except the making love part. That’s only typical if you’re me, I guess.

What if making love to Joey ends up like the others have in the past? Badly. In some disaster of epic proportions?

Stop thinking, Witter.

Take it one step at a time. Dinner. Dancing. Ride home. Kiss her at the door. Let her take the next step. Just remember, you have to stop at the kissing so she has a chance to decide. None of this is going to be under duress. Joey has to want me. Joey has to want this.

And if she doesn’t…well, then I’ll just head home, tail between my legs, and set about the impossible task of getting over her. That shouldn’t be too hard. I mean, look how well Dawson’s done it. Oh wait. He hasn’t.

Great.

~**~  
Joey took Pacey’s hand as he helped her from the car, her eyes wide. “What is this place?”

Tossing the keys to the valet, Pacey guided her to the door. “Just a little place Doug told me about.”

“This is a little place like Buckingham Palace is a house in the country. How did I not know about this joint when I was looking for a job?”

“It’s twenty miles outside of town, it’s new and it would have really spoiled this surprise. Let me have my moment here, Potter. Okay?”

She nodded as he led her toward the maitre-d, not saying anything as they approached. “Yes, I have reservations for two. Witter.”

“Of course. Right this way.”

As they followed him, Joey tugged on Pacey’s arm. “He looks like the guy from Ferris Bueller,” she whispered.

Pacey managed to keep from smiling until they’d been seated and the maitre-d had walked away. “Are you trying to make this a comedy of errors here, Jo?” He leaned in across the small table and took her hand. “You’re ruining the romantic ambiance.”

“You really did learn all those vocabulary words, didn’t you?”

“And I can use them in the form of a sentence.” He squeezed her hand then let it go as the waiter approached them.

“I have no doubt of your ability to do that.” Joey smiled slyly at him before turning her attention to the waiter as he handed her a menu.

“Actually,” Pacey gave Joey a quick look, “I’d like to just order, if I could?” Joey raised an eyebrow before handing the menu back. The waiter turned his attention to Pacey who blushed lightly before clearing his throat. Pacey took the menu and pointed at what he wanted, blushing even deeper as the waiter raised his eyebrows.

“You’re certain, sir?”

“Yes. My brother Doug recommended it.”

“Ah. Mr. Witter.” The waiter nodded and took the menu. “Of course. We’ll have that out to you in just a moment.”

“Why does this have the distinct odor of a set-up?”

“You’re smelling things, Potter.” Pacey grinned at her. “Just let me make this perfect, okay? It’s my celebration and your thank you. So suck it up.”

“Yes sir.” She reached out and placed her hand over his, running her fingers over the back of his knuckles. “I am really proud of you, Pacey. Not that I didn’t think you could do it, but I was worried that when…well, when we split up that you’d lose your focus.”

“You should have known better, Jo. After all, that little moment we had on the docks when I first found out managed to stick in my head. It wasn’t about anything else, just me. And I had to do it. Otherwise, I’d have been the loser everyone seemed to have written me off as.”

“I never thought you were a loser. Well, at least not since about the middle of our sophomore year. Before that, well, you were fair game.”

Pacey raised his eyebrow, “So were you.”

Joey shook her head, “I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Neither did I.” He grinned. “At least not the sexual way it sounded.” After a short pause, Pacey shook his head. “I’m just going to say this and get it out in the open and if it screws up the rest of the evening, I apologize in advance, okay? But either way, we’ll have a nice dinner.”

“Okay,” Joey’s voice was timid as she pulled her hand away slightly.

“I admit that I was jealous of Dawson. Not because he was your first boyfriend or your best friend or whatever, but because you have this bond with him that I can’t break. But I’ve come to realize that that bond isn’t what keeps us apart. It’s how we perceive that bond. For a while, I thought the whole soulmates thing was all about love and sex and all that stuff. And maybe you did too, I don’t claim to have any ability to read your mind.”

“If you could…”

“Wait.” Pacey stopped her mid-sentence. “But I’ve given it a lot of thought over the past three months, and even more thought over the past week or so. I know you’re always going to have a connection to Dawson, Jo. Hell, so am I. We were best friends for ten years of our lives. That doesn’t just go away no matter how much you sometimes wish it would. But I don’t think the bond you share with him is about sex and love and all that stuff. I think it’s about knowing each other and being friends with one another. Knowing each other well enough to know when the other is hurting. Knowing each other well enough to want to make it stop.” He took a drink of his water and forced himself to meet her eyes. “Hopefully knowing each other well enough to let go when it’s time.”

Joey held his gaze for a long minute before replying. “I was going to say, if you could read my mind, you’d know that you didn’t have to say this stuff. When I realized that I was in love with you – not that I loved you, but that I was in love with you – I knew that what I felt for Dawson wasn’t what I’d always thought it would be. I built these dreams based on what I thought was true. And you turned everything upside down.” She bit her lower lip and looked down at the table. “I’m always going to love Dawson. Always going to have a place in my heart for him. But Pacey,” she looked up, tears standing in her eyes making them glisten. “I’m in love with you. And when we’re together, there’s no one else in the world. And when you kiss me, I can’t think of anything but how much I don’t want you to stop.”

“So maybe we can stop dancing around his name and the subject?” Pacey nodded, still holding her eyes. “I love you, Potter. Dawson Leery be damned.”

“Probably,” she giggled. After a few minutes, she took his hand and brought it to her lips, kissing his palm, her tongue peeking out to brush the warm skin. “I want to make love to you, Pacey Witter,” she whispered. “Because I do love you. And there’s no one in the world who could possibly make my first time mean more or be more special. No one who loves me like you do.”

Tears sparkled in Pacey’s eyes as he reached out and brushed the hair away from her face. “No one else ever will.”

~**~  
Words have power. Maybe that’s why we all use these big words to say what we’re thinking when something much simpler would suffice, we want the power behind all those syllables. How strange that three syllables have the power to change everything. He loves me. He says that and his words heal me. They chase away all the fears and doubts. And even though he’s said them before, they’ve never meant more than tonight.

Tonight it’s for real.

I’ve just managed to proposition him and we’re not even to dessert yet. Hell, we’re not even at the first course and all I want to do is drag him out of his chair and take him home with me. Of course, if we want to be honest, I never wanted to leave my house in the first place.

But it needed to be said. We both needed to know that Dawson wasn’t in the room with us as anything more than the guy we’ve both been friends with for most of our lives. It’s like being free of a ghost. I thought that just hearing Pacey say he loved me would be enough to set him free, but it took Pacey telling me that he understood about Dawson to do it.

Maybe he can read my mind. That might explain why we’re both blushing.

We’ll still be friends, and maybe somewhere down the line, we’ll rebuild the friendship we had with Dawson. But for tonight…tonight we become something more. Something I’ve been waiting my whole lifetime for. I’m just glad I waited for the right person.

~**~  
Joey turned her back to the door of the B&B and smiled up at Pacey. “So, Bessie and Alexander are staying with Bodie’s parents for the weekend, since we don’t have any guests. And Bodie’s headed there right after work.”

“I don’t think I’m following your subtle innuendoes here, Potter. Can’t you use smaller words?” Pacey leaned in, bracing himself over her with one arm. His breath was warm against her skin in the cool night air.

“I was wondering if you’d like to come in.”

“Are you going to make me hot chocolate?” With his free hand, Pacey brushed Joey’s hair away from her face, smoothing his thumb over her cheek, flushed red from the cold. “Warm me up?”

“Something like that.” She raised her hand to his tie and tugged on it, pulling his face closer to hers. Closing her eyes for a moment, she moved toward him and kissed him lightly. “Unless you’ve got someplace better to be?”

“Well, I’d hoped to do some more studying tonight…” He grinned as she tugged harder at his tie. “But, I suppose I can stay for a little while.” Joey released him and turned to unlock the door. Refusing to move back, Pacey slid his hand along her arm until he wrapped it around her hand and guided the key to the lock. “It’s getting cold out here, Potter.”

“Really?” She looked back at him over her shoulder, her breathing slightly labored. “I hadn’t noticed.” Joey opened the door and shrugged off her jacket, tossing the keys onto the table. Pacey followed her in and hung his suit jacket on the coat rack, then made his way into the living room. “You want anything to drink?”

Pacey sank onto the couch and looked up at her, his eyes dark. “Nope.” He reached out for her hand and gently pulled her toward him. “C’mere.”

Joey settled next to him, turning slightly. Pacey slipped his arm along the cushions, his hand falling near her shoulder. She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes as his fingers brushed over the strap of her dress, smoothing the silken strand. “What do we do now?”

One corner of Pacey’s mouth lifted in a small grin, “Whatever you like, Joey.”

“What if I don’t know what I like?” She tilted her head, looking at him earnestly.

“We’ll figure it out,” he assured her. Lifting his hand from the strap, he ran his thumb over her cheek. “You like that?”

Joey nodded, turning her head to kiss the pad of his thumb. “Yes.”

Pacey curved his hand around the back of her neck and guided her closer to him. “What about this?”

The softly whispered “Yes” was lost in the kiss as she pressed her lips to his, her tongue seeking entrance. Pacey opened his mouth to her, tasting her as she moved closer, letting her tongue invade him. He kept his hands still, allowing her the freedom to explore him, refamiliarize herself with the taste and feel of him.

Finally, Joey broke away and bit her lip, breathing heavily as she stared at him. Her voice trembled quietly. “Would…would you like to go to my room?” Pacey closed his eyes for a moment, letting the sentence wash over him before nodding silently. He stood up and held out a hand to her, pulling her close as she got to her feet. They stood there in each other’s arms, neither speaking, until Joey pulled back and started toward the hall. “Follow me.”

Pacey wiped his hands, damp with nervous excitement, along the seam of his pants as he followed her. Her hips swayed slightly as she walked, emphasizing how much she’d changed from the girl he’d known all his life. As she reached the bedroom door, she looked back at him, almost as if she were afraid he wouldn’t be behind her.

“I feel like I should say something,” she admitted as she opened the door and walked inside. “Some sort of speech or declaration of intent.”

“That would certainly set a romantic tone,” Pacey agreed as he shut the door behind him, blocking the light from the room. Only the moon lit them, dancing dimly over their skin and the bed. “Something really inspired.”

Joey sank onto the edge of the bed and stared up at him. “Stupid, huh?”

“Not if it’s what you need to do,” he replied with a shrug. “Although I think in this sort of situation, actions tend to speak louder than words.”

“What if I don’t know the right actions?”

He sank to his knees in front of her and rested his arms on her knees. His blue eyes seemed black in the pale light. “There is no right or wrong here, Joey. Quit thinking in those terms. There’s only what feels good and what doesn’t.”

“I’d like to make you feel good.”

He grinned and nodded, “I’d like that too. But maybe we can work our way up to that.”

“How?”

“I know that you’re worried about this, but maybe I can relax you a little, make you feel good before you start returning the favor.”

Despite the dim light, the look in his eyes was unmistakable. Hungry and wanting, loving and needing. “What would you do?”

“Lie down.”

“But…”

“Please, Jo?” He stood up and helped guide her back onto the bed. Kicking off his shoes, he sat beside her, resting his hand on her flat stomach. The warmth of his body seemed to seep into her through the cloth and she sighed contentedly. “I’m just going to touch you.”

“Where?”

“Right here, for starters.” He moved his hand in small circles, never straying from her stomach. “This dress is beautiful, but all it does is make me wonder if your skin feels this silky.”

“You…you…” Joey swallowed. “You could touch it.”

“I will,” he reassured her. “Soon.” He moved his hand slightly higher, occasionally just brushing the underside of her breasts. “Your breasts are perfect, Joey. I want to feel them in my hands, carefully kneading your skin.” He ran his thumb over one taut nipple, not speaking as she gasped and shivered. “Your nipples are so hard and tight against your dress. Even in this light I can see them outlined beneath the fabric.”

He brought his other hand up and massaged both mounds through the dress, closing his eyes and just feeling her body respond. Her breathing was fast and shallow as he opened his eyes, bringing his hands even higher. With a gentle tug, he pulled the straps from her shoulders, down her arms so they hung there loosely.

“Will you sit up for me?”

She let him guide her into a sitting position, leaning against him as he reached behind her and slid her zipper down. The sound was loud in the room, overshadowing Joey’s breathing. As he lay her back down, Pacey eased the dress down her body, exposing her chest and stomach to his appreciative eyes.

“God, you’re sexy.” He ran his index finger between her breasts, shivering as excitement bubbled over Joey’s skin. “I’m going to taste you, Joey. Lean down,” he suited action to words, his mouth poised over her collarbone. “And put my mouth on you.” His lips brushed along the bone before moving to the middle of her chest. He rained soft, moist kisses along her tanned skin before stopping at the creamy flesh she’d always hidden from the sun.

“You okay?” She nodded, muttering a rushed agreement as her hips arched off the bed in an effort to encourage him. “I’m going to wrap my lips around your nipple,” he whispered, his breath hot on the already aching skin. “And suck on you. Bathe you with my tongue.”

Joey whimpered as Pacey’s lips closed over her and his tongue trapped her nipple against the roof of his mouth. Her hands found his hair, fingers threading through it and holding him to her as her back arced toward his mouth.

Pacey suckled her tight skin as she kneaded his scalp, one hand working its way under her back while the other teased the opposite nipple. Joey’s body continued to move, writhing beneath his warm assault. Pulling back slightly, he placed a soft kiss on the tip then worked his way over to her other breast. Joey whimpered again, her hands moving to his shoulders to clutch at his shirt.

Her nails dug into his skin through the thin cotton shirt as he continued to taste her, desperate to pry it off his body. Pacey pulled away from her honeyed skin and watched her as she stared up at him glassy-eyed. He loosened his tie and tugged it off then unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. “What do you want, Jo?”

Her hands moved to unfasten the rest of the buttons, struggling to get the shirt off of him. He shrugged it off his shoulders and tossed it aside before moving back down toward her. He captured her hands and held them at her side as he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. “Don’t move, okay?”

He stood up and Joey moaned softly, starting to sit up. Pacey shook his head and moved to the foot of the bed, leaning forward so that he could slide his hands under the material of her dress, bunched at her waist. “Lift your hips?” He asked her softly as he carefully stripped the silk away from her body.

Joey raised herself up on her elbows and watched him as he took her in, his eyes roaming over the whisper thin panties she wore down to the bare skin above her thigh high stockings. Pacey forced his eyes up to hers and smiled, his own breathing now matching hers. Without breaking her gaze, he unfastened his pants and let them fall to the floor, leaving him clad in nothing more than his boxers.

Kneeling at Joey’s feet, Pacey carefully spread her legs apart so that he could move up closer to her. His knees were even with hers, her silky stocking-clad legs draped over his thighs. Pacey placed his hands on either side of her hips and bent down, blowing a warm stream of air against the black material that barely covered her dampness.

One finger traced over the thin fabric before crooking under the elastic and pulling it to the side. Moving closer, Pacey sent another warm breath against her skin, forcing a shivering cry from Joey’s lips. “Do you want me to taste you, Joey?”

“P…p…please?” She begged, gripping the covers tightly in her hands.

He let his tongue brush against her outer lips, red and swollen with desire. Her breath caught and she struggled for air. “God you taste good, baby,” he whispered before pressing his tongue harder against her, parting the rosy skin. Joey gasped as his tongue penetrated her, dipping into the warm well of her arousal before working its way up to the throbbing nub of her clitoris.

Joey thrashed beneath Pacey’s practiced tongue as he snaked it along the damp cleft, teasing her with light pressure that forced the ache to deepen, never allowing her satisfaction. She panted helplessly, touching him mindlessly as he fed from her, devoured her. Her thighs clenched at him, muscles contracting around him as he parted her willing flesh even further. His tongue plunged inside her, pushing into her as he brought his thumb up to her clit, finally putting pressure on it, stroking and circling the pulsing center until she breathlessly cried out his name, her orgasm rushing to meet his still probing tongue.

Her body quivered and she struggled against him, jerking as aftershocks rushed through her. Pacey pulled away slowly, licking his lips. His damp fingers worked their way under the band of her panties and guided them down her legs. He slowly backed off the bed so that he could free her of them, then moved close to her once more. “I’m going to finish undressing you,” his voice was pitched low, thick with wanting. Joey watched him through half-closed eyes, her gaze locked on his erection, straining against the material of his boxers.

“When do I get to undress you?”

Pacey shuddered at the throaty sound of her voice, drenched with satisfaction and desire. “Soon,” he promised her as he carefully started removing her stockings. He slid them off her legs slowly, reveling in the feel of her smooth skin. By the time he’d divested her of both of them, her breathing had returned almost to normal. “I want to make love to you, Joey.”

“Not yet,” she shook her head and slid one leg between both of his, using her foot to bring him closer to her. Pacey used his hands to stop him from falling forward, leaving him hovering above her. “You shouldn’t get to have all the fun.”

“You’re not having fun?” He asked with a quiet laugh.

“I wanna have some more.” She ran her hand over his chest, her fingers finding his nipple and pinching it slightly. Pacey’s muscles clenched, his body rock hard above hers. Letting her hand wander further south, Joey found the edge of his boxers and slipped her fingers underneath the waistband.

“Baby,” he pleaded.

“Maybe you should lie down.” She wriggled out from under him, carefully disengaging her hand. Grabbing one of Pacey’s arms, she forced him down onto his back then straddled his waist. Lowering herself, she pressed his covered erection against her wetness, listening to Pacey moan as it soaked through the cloth. “What was it you said? Just relax?”

“Honey, I’m not going to relax until I’m buried inside you,” he assured her in a husky voice.

“Yeah?” She asked, sliding along his shaft. The wet fabric clung to her skin, doing nothing to hide the hot pulsing of his erection. Carefully moving back off of him, Joey brought her hands back to his waistband and lifted the elastic over his cock. “How deep inside me?”

“Let me show you?” He offered.

“Not yet.” She moved off his legs completely and pushed his boxers down his body until they made their way to the floor. Inching her way toward his feet, she lay on top of his legs, her mouth poised at the base of his shaft. She pressed the tip of her tongue onto his hot skin then ran it along the length of him, guiding the creamy beads that topped it into her mouth. Pacey groaned as she raised up slightly then engulfed him, swallowing his considerable length.

“Oh fuck,” he breathed as she began moving, stroking his cock with her warm mouth, her tongue pressed hard against the sensitive skin. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to will himself to stay in control as she sucked the tip, her tongue parting the flesh to taste him. “Baby, please.”

She eased away from him, her smile a mirror of his when he’d moved away from her. “How deep inside me, Pacey?”

He grabbed her, almost forcefully and pulled her down onto the bed with him, wrapping her in his arms as he kissed her. Her mouth was open for him, inviting him in as he guided her onto her back, his tongue plundering the soft surfaces until she took control, sucking his tongue into her like she had his cock.

Forcing himself away from her, Pacey struggled to breathe, panting hard in the heady air of the room. “Tell me you have something?”

Joey reached down and wrapped her hand around his cock, guiding it toward her. “Protection is just as much your responsibility,” she reminded him.

“My wallet is in my suit jacket, which is all the fucking way out there,” he bit out desperately, trying not to give in to the insistent urging of her hands.

“I’m on the pill,” she whispered, arching her hips off the bed in invitation. Pacey groaned deep in his chest, the heady thought of being inside her, feeling her against his skin was almost more than he could stand. He let himself slide inside her, moaning silently as he felt the silken walls wrap around his unsheathed cock. He stopped when he felt resistance, closing his eyes in a mixture of hesitation and frustration.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” she assured him, locking her legs around his thighs and thrusting up against him. He swallowed her soft gasp in his kiss, rocking his hips gently as he filled her. Joey shivered beneath him; the short sharp pain buried in an avalanche of sensation as Pacey carefully pushed inside her.

“You okay?” He whispered quietly, kissing her softly.

“Past okay. Somewhere near…” she gasped as he thrust a bit more firmly. “Pretty damn excellent.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” He braced himself over her, his hips meeting hers with more confidence now. His pace quickened as she matched his rhythm, thrusting up to him as she gave herself over, no longer thinking, only feeling. Pacey watched her as he moved inside her, the heat of her combined with the aching tightness that surrounded him pushed him toward the edge, the well of his own arousal pulsing just beneath the surface.

Joey felt her body tighten around Pacey’s, holding him captive with every minor earthquake that rocked through her system. She tried to hold his gaze, failing as she closed her eyes, giving in to the shivers of tiny orgasms that coursed along his length. The soft sound of wet skin clinging to him, the hazy taste of his sweat on her lips, the sight of him above her, burned into her brain.

“Baby,” he whispered, his voice tortured. “I can’t…”

“Don’t,” she assured him, buffeted on the wave of his climax. She could feel the heat of him pulsing into her, coating her. He was hers now. Buried in her. Joey tightened her legs around him and ground up toward his body, meeting every thrust with wild abandon. This was passion. Love and trust and need. This…this was what she’d been waiting for, what she’d been so afraid of.

This was the man she loved.

With a soft cry, Joey felt herself lose control, the familiar hot rush of her orgasm tangling with his. She shuddered beneath him as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. Her body spasmed slightly under him as he whispered soothing words underneath his breath. When she finally relaxed, he pulled back just enough to see her face.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” she replied languidly.

“I love you.”

She nodded and kissed the tip of his nose. “Yeah?’

“Yeah.”

“Does that mean you’re spending the night?”

“So your sister can kick my ass six ways to Sunday when she gets home and finds me here?”

Joey nodded matter-of-factly. “Yeah.”

Pacey smiled and snuggled down next to her. “Yeah.”

~**~  
I thought it would be earth shattering. And maybe, in the back of my mind, I expected to hear Dawson cry out like an animal in pain the moment I slid inside her. For all my bravado and heartfelt words, I don’t know that I believed a word I said until I was lying here with her.

It wasn’t until I was touching her and she was touching me and, for the first time in my life, I couldn’t remember anything past Joey that I realized that I wasn’t lying. I told her the truth at dinner, even if I didn’t quite believe it.

She feels so right in my arms, and I felt so right inside her. She never looked away from me, and I never once saw regret in her eyes. Even now, as she’s sleeping beside me, she’s smiling. She’s content.

Dawson Leery’s across the creek. And I’m here in her bed.

Where I belong.

11/19/00


End file.
